Religious, Not Religious

I haven't been a religious person. Honestly, it's been hard for me to believe that someone omnipotent is up there. But I have an interest in talking about religion and participating in religious events. That`s why I joined a Zen practice and a Christmas party last week.

 

It was my second time visiting the temple So-ji-ji (総持寺). Everytime I go there, a sculpture of Buddha is smiling as if he's welcoming my visit. I took a tour at the temple guided by a monk. This time was with a friend and two professors, one from Tsurumi University and the other from Australia. In the spacious and remarkably clean site, there was a soothing atmosphere and I became very calm inside. After the tour, we meditated for about 15 minutes. It is called 'Za-zen (座禅)', and although I'm not supposed to think anything during it, various thoughts came to mind. I think practicing it everyday will bring some level of peace in me. 

  

And on the weekend, there was a party celebrating the upcoming Christmas in Sendagaya (千駄ヶ谷), Tokyo. I was invited by my friend who is a member of the church hosting it. It was a small party with about 15 people. Chatting with new friends, eating delicious Korean style foods, and singing a carol in Japanese, I had a pleasant time. Also, my friend and the hosts singing a hymn in a rap version was something to see.

I was touched by the letter they gave me as a present at the end of the party. Every sentence was quoted from various parts of the Bible and edited into one continuing letter. It was like a letter that God has actually written for me. I got surprised reading it from the beginning, 'My dear beloved daughter', as I wasn't expecting something so intimate. And by the following words, I was so moved. Someone whose existence I didn't even know of has been loving me? I translated some of the letter into English.

  

'My dear beloved daughter,

You don't know me, but I know everything about you.

I can count every move that you sit or stand,

And even every hair on you.

I knew you before I created you in the womb,

And I chose you since the creation of the world,

You were made not by a coincidence, but in my plans.

…

I want to give you my love generously,

As you are my child and I am your father.

...

You are my precious treasure.

...

I will never leave you or desert you.

I will always be with you.

I love you till the end of the world.

 

From your loving father'

My first religion-related memory was at the age 5. My aunt tried to tempt me, saying I can get many cookies and presents if I come to the chapel. I hesitated between the cookies and the Disney animation that was regularly on TV at the same time. At the end, I turned down the proposal and chose Disney. From then, my life has been far from any kind of religion. I visited a Protestant church, Catholic church or temple from time to time, but I couldn't feel anything. But from last week, I started to think maybe there is a God. Or maybe I just want to believe that there is. I don't know. I'll find out this Christmas Eve in the church.

Thoughts on Learning Japanese

There was a Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT) last Sunday. I took Level 6 (1級) which is the highest level. I have a Level 5 (2級) certificate, but many of the part time jobs or the real jobs I want to apply for require the highest level. The gap between Level 6 and Level 5 was huge. It felt so difficult even though I'd stayed in Japan for almost 3 months and studied hard for a few weeks with a vocabulary book and official sample tests. I was surprised that so many other words besides what I studied came out in the vocabulary part. I had to pick randomly on some questions that I didn`t have a clue about. I guess I was naive to have believed my vocabulary book`s authors claim that I can get any answers right once I study with this book. Well, she was obviously lying. Even though I memorized almost all the words of the book, I got many answers wrong. I should`ve memorized more words from other sources too.

What I find most difficult in Japanese language is that one kanji can be pronounced in so many ways. `生` is an example. This letter basically means `life`, and has at least 12 different ways of saying it. The pronunciation differs according to the words it is in. It's pronounced `se-i` in the word 生命 (Se-i-me-i), which means `life`, while pronounced `Sho-u` in the word 一生懸命 (Iss-sho-u-ken-me-i), which indicates when someone is doing their best. Also, when the word means `live`, it`s pronounced `i-ki-ru`. You have to memorize how it is pronounced in every word. It can happen even for Japanese people that they confuse how to read the kanji correctly. This phenomenon felt strange to me the first time I started learning Japanese, because each letter in the Korean language, my mother tongue, has a certain way of pronouncing it, so anyone who`s a literate cannot read any letters wrong. And all the writing! I wonder if all of the literate Japanese people can write the common kanji correctly. It's so complex to write.

Despite these facts, actually, Japanese is a rather easy language to learn for me, a Korean. It's because Korean and Japanese share the same kanji civilization. There are many same or similar kanji vocabularies, with just the pronunciation a little different. I can infer what the meaning and pronunciation is from the kanji. I did it on this Japanese test, and got the answer right. The question was to pick the pronunciation for the word 人脈 (jin-mya-ku/ a person's relations). I'd never heard of the pronunciation before, but as Korean has the same word pronounced 'in-maek', I could check the right answer easily. Also, there are similar concepts. Japanese often use the concept '気 (ki/ aura that comes out from something or someone)' in their language, and we Koreans do too. For example, someone is so confident and powerful, Koreans say 'His/Her 気 (ki) is strong' and in the opposite situation, 'His/Her 気 (ki) is weak'. So, we can easily understand when Japanese people say ‘気軽い(ki-garu-i)’ which means there's no burden in someone's mind.

 

Therefore I can say studying Japanese requires less time and effort for Koreans compared to other languages. I've been studying English since kindergarten, and I studied really hard in middle and high school. I have watched tons of American dramas and movies in my university years. However, I still have trouble explaining something simple I want to say in English. Compared to that, I've been studying Japanese only for 3 years since the first year of the university. My Japanese is no better than English yet, but I already feel Japanese is more comfortable to use than English. If there's a Japanese and English sentence respectively indicating the same thing, I will find the Japanese one faster to read and clearer to understand. I become a bit sad when I think about all my effort into English through many years, but what can I do? It's natural to be more comfortable in the similar language. I hope to get proficient in both languages one day.